Is this your first time riding the Metro?

The WMATA (Washington Metropolitian Area Transit Authority) has released a series of PSAs (Public Serivce Announcement) which I have begun to call the "Ding, Ding...you're an idiot" series.  While I completely understand the nature of these announcements is not to be insulting, but rather helpful to riders that may be tourists; the tone is nothing short of 'you're an idiot how could you possible ride public transportation.'  Here are a few thoughts I have in response to the PSAs; I'll let you guess the message....

1.  So, if we don't regularly use the Metro we should by a round trip ticket before going to a sporting event...well, isn't that obvious?
2. Yeah, we can see it is raining out and that would make a metal escalator slippery. No shit, genius.  By the way, who is the smart guy who thought that clay tile floor would be great for outdoor platforms in the rain?
3. We get it...when the message says the doors closing; they are actually closing.  We thought it was a freakin' joke.
4. No shit Sherlock, taking public transportation will put us in contact with other people.  Oh, yeah we won't cough on people...something our mothers instilled in us since birth.
5. We will say something when we frickin' see it...like, poor service, length delays, unannounced routine track maintenance, Metro after 10:00 during the week sucks and in general, everything other than terrorists.

Thanks Metro for treating us like childern of a lessor rail system...